FearLESS Friday Ep81
So he’s just crying hysterically, and you can tell there’s no one around. Is there any wonder you’re not getting on your horse? Is there any wonder?! If I showed my brain my defenseless, innocent, needing child all alone crying its eyes out and the ground coming up to meet my face, I would never get on a horse ever.
Wouldn’t want to live in your head. And that’s the thing, when you’ve really got to think about what do you do in your head and then realize logically well, I wouldn’t want to live there. But hang on, I am. And what we’re not taught in schools, which drives me insane is that we can’t change what we show ourselves.
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To Your Success,
Natasha Althoff: Are you excited about today?
Natasha Althoff: Brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant. Brilliant. Okay.
Natasha Althoff: So what we are going to do is I want to get a real clear picture of what it is that you do on the horse. So if I said, okay, it’s time to ride now and your radio stations get confused and they go, okay, and you’ve got to consciously go, I don’t want to listen to this. I want to listen to this and you do all of that. I still want to know how does this know it’s time to be turned on.
Jess: I don’t know. How do i-
Natasha Althoff: Because I’m the only magical person. You’re not magical.
Natasha Althoff: So this just can’t appear from nowhere.
Jess: The brain.
Natasha Althoff: Cool. What do you do in your brain that signals it’s time for this to happen?
Jess: Probably have a panic.
Natasha Althoff: How do you do panic? What do you have to do?
Jess: Think a bad thought.
Natasha Althoff: Cool. How do you think a bad thought? How does the bad thought appear? Does it come as a voice? Does it come as a picture? Does it come as a feeling?
Jess: A bit of all of it. Probably a feeling and a thought, like words.
Natasha Althoff: Words that you say that you hear in your head or words of something else?
Jess: Oh, probably more words that I run through my head.
Natasha Althoff: Mm-hmm (affirmative). So give me an example of some words.
Jess: What if you break your leg?
Natasha Althoff: Is there any picture associated with that?
Natasha Althoff: So before this happens, you’ve got a picture of the ground and you’ve got a voice in your head that says, what if you break your leg?
Natasha Althoff: Yep. Anything else?
Natasha Althoff: So that you have a picture of your baby on the ground or do you have a split screen?
Jess: Separate picture.
Natasha Althoff: So you’ve got a couple of photos going on. Are they still pictures or moving?
Jess: Oh, pictures.
Natasha Althoff: Yeah. Are they photos or are they like the Harry Potter photos and the people are moving in them? Like a bit of a movie?
Jess: Probably a little bit of a movie.
Natasha Althoff: Hmm. Cool. So tell me about the movie about the ground.
Jess: It’s sort of I see and feel the feeling of-
Natasha Althoff: The ground coming to meet you?
Jess: The fall. Yep.
Natasha Althoff: Yep. Okay. Anything else that you see, feel or hear in that movie?
Jess: No. That one’s sort of soundless.
Natasha Althoff: Great. Yep. So no sound.
Jess: The one of Lockie is sort of-
Natasha Althoff: Yep. So is there any other? There’s the ground, there’s Lockie. Any others?
Jess: Not really.
Natasha Althoff: Great. So we’ve just got two movies. Tell me the one about Lockie.
Jess: It’s just sort of him crying.
Natasha Althoff: Great. Is he all alone?
Natasha Althoff: Yeah. In his room? In the pram?
Jess: Probably in the lounge room.
Natasha Althoff: Yep. Is he sitting up? Oh, he doesn’t sit up yet. So he’s just crying hysterically, and you can tell there’s no one around. Is there any wonder you’re not getting on your horse? Is there any wonder?! If I showed my brain my defenseless, innocent, needing child all alone crying its eyes out and the ground coming up to meet my face, I would never get on a horse ever.
Natasha Althoff: Did you get that? If I showed myself that.
Jess: Oh god, yeah.
Natasha Althoff: So all we need to do is not show ourselves that.
Jess: No, I know.
Natasha Althoff: And you said there’s a voice. Oh, just the what if you break your leg?
Natasha Althoff: I love that your brain also goes, if you break your leg, Lockie will be in the living room crying uncontrollably.
Natasha Althoff: We’ll get back to the training in a second. I just wanted to remind you if you’re loving this video, make sure to subscribe and leave me a comment on how this video has helped and your biggest learning so far.
Natasha Althoff: It’s a broken leg, dude.
Jess: Yeah. It’s not like I can run. I can say he’s maybe stuck somewhere and he’s crying.
Natasha Althoff: Stuck somewhere? Where are you stuck?
Jess: I don’t know. Somewhere at the house. But I’ve got a broken leg. I’m not running around am I?
Natasha Althoff: Ah, okay.
Jess: It connects.
Natasha Althoff: Right. So the ground, you break your leg, you go back home and then Lockie’s crying for like 10 seconds because it takes you a little bit longer on the crutches to get to him.
Natasha Althoff: But that would make you feel like a complete failure as a mom, that you totally let him down, that you totally stuffed it up.
Jess: That I’m the worst person in the world.
Natasha Althoff: Yeah.
Jess: Pretty much.
Natasha Althoff: Just a little bit of pressure that you put on yourself. Good luck to you. All right, cool.
Jess: Just a little bit.
Natasha Althoff: Wow. Yeah. Wouldn’t want to live in your head. And that’s the thing, when you’ve really got to think about what do you do in your head and then realize logically well, I wouldn’t want to live there. But hang on, I am. And what we’re not taught in schools, which drives me insane is that we can’t change what we show ourselves.
Natasha Althoff: And that’s a complete lie.
Natasha Althoff: Have you ever fantasized about the firefighter in the firefighter’s calendar?
Jess: No. Can’t say I have.
Natasha Althoff: Normally when I coach men and they go, what do you mean? I can’t picture things that haven’t happened. You just need to go, okay, let’s think about, have you ever fantasized about the Victoria’s Secret models? That hasn’t happened and they’re like, Oh yes.
Jess: Okay. Yeah, I can say probably no. Not the guy in the thingie, but-
Natasha Althoff: And it doesn’t have to be … Anything. You’ve fantasized riding a really beautiful horse. Or you fantasized about being a Victoria’s Secret Model or you fantasized about going on a beautiful holiday and sipping a cocktail. Whatever it is. But you have put yourself, you have created in your brain a picture that has not happened to you.
Natasha Althoff: Every human being has done that. And if you’re still struggling, picture your car and now picture it red. Everyone can do that.
Jess: I would love my car to be red right now.
Natasha Althoff: And there’s people going, my color is red. Then picture it blue. Whatever it is, you can take a picture in your mind and you can change it. You can change the color, you can change what’s happening. You can create something that’s never happened before. Whatever it is.
Natasha Althoff: So, what would you like to change your picture of the ground to be?
Jess: Oh God.
Natasha Althoff: Can I also just check? In this picture, is the ground coming towards you? Are you in the picture and seeing the picture through your own eyes? Or are you looking at yourself lying on the ground because you’ve fallen off?
Jess: I feel like I’m in the picture.
Natasha Althoff: Yeah, I feel so too.
Jess: And the picture’s about to hit me.
Natasha Althoff: And with Lockie. Yep. Perfect. With Lockie are you seeing that through your own eyes?
Jess: No, I feel like that is me sitting on the outside.
Natasha Althoff: Yeah. Perfect. Well done. Thank you for that. Okay, so if we’re associated in the first one then we’re going to have to be associated in the second one. So what this is cool. What would you like to picture instead of the picture coming to meet you?
Jess: Oh good question. I don’t know.
Natasha Althoff: Could you picture the air going through your helmet and your hair as you are riding around on the horse’s back?
Natasha Althoff: The whole time.
Natasha Althoff: Instead of the ground coming to meet you, the air is constantly meeting you and all you’re seeing is arena walls or the horse. Why don’t have all you’re seeing is the two ears.
Jess: Okay. Yep.
Natasha Althoff: Do we agree? If you see the back of the horse’s ears, you can’t have ever fallen off.
Jess: No, I’m still there.
Natasha Althoff: You’re still there. So go ahead now, you can close your eyes or keep them open. Just go ahead and take that picture and go okay, well I don’t need the ground. I don’t need that. I need to put myself on the horse. I need to see the two ears. Okay, I need to add the feeling of moving through the air with the two ears. I can see the back of the two ears. I’m all good. I’m all good. And that’s what I just keep seeing. It just keeps on loop. Instead of the ground coming to meet you on loop, it’s just two ears and moving through the air. Two ears moving through the air. Two ears moving through the air.
Jess: Okay. Yep.
Natasha Althoff: Have you gone and done that now?
Natasha Althoff: Okay. What color are the ears?
Natasha Althoff: Good. You’ve done it. Good job. Okay. You know that sound that Tupperware makes when you put the lid on?
Jess: Yeah, the click.
Natasha Althoff: Yep. Can you just do that to the picture? Click it into place so it can’t change back and do funny things.
Natasha Althoff: Done?
Jess: I’ll hold it there.
Natasha Althoff: Yep.
Natasha Althoff: Good. All right. Now what are we going to change the other one to be? What could be fun?
Jess: Oh, I don’t know. Lockie in his pram.
Natasha Althoff: Yep. And what’s he doing?
Natasha Althoff: He sure is. Can you go ahead and create that now? What’s he wearing? What’s the pram look like? What’s that smile look like?
Jess: Naughty and cheeky.
Natasha Althoff: What does that do to your heart when you see that smile?
Jess: Makes me warm and fuzzy.
Natasha Althoff: So have you got that picture?
Natasha Althoff: Okay. Click it into place. That Tupperware sound?
Natasha Althoff: All done?
Jess: All done.
Natasha Althoff: Beautiful. Okay. And then I want you to take those two pictures and just show me with your hands. How big were those two pictures?
Jess: The first ones or the second ones?
Natasha Althoff: Well, you’ve now put those pictures into the second ones. So just those two pictures. How big are they?
Natasha Althoff: Is that one each? Yep. Or they’re like this?
Jess: That’s the two of them.
Natasha Althoff: Yep. Okay. Can you go to Officeworks right now and blow them up 10 times?
Natasha Althoff: So take them, blow them up. Blow them up, blow them up, blow them up. Blow them up, blow them up, blow them up. Bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger. Is that all you can see is have those two pitches?
Natasha Althoff: Ears, Lockie. Ears, happy Lockie. Ears, happy Lockie. Ears, happy Lockie.
Natasha Althoff: How do you feel?
Jess: Warm and fuzzy.
Natasha Althoff: Great.
Jess: Yeah. Warm and fuzzy.
Natasha Althoff: Okay, time to get on the horse.
Natasha Althoff: How do you feel?
Jess: Warm and fuzzy still.
Natasha Althoff: Perfect. I’ve done my job.
Jess: Aw, man.
Natasha Althoff: Cool. So now we’ll go get on the horse and see how we go.
Natasha Althoff: I’d love to invite you to my free Fear training class on how to overcome your fear and ride confidently without feeling nervous, anxious, and out of control. In this free training class, you’re going to learn how to have unshakable confidence on your horse, even if you’ve had your writing fears for years using a powerful training tool. I’m also going to teach you that you don’t need to ride your horse to make the fear go away. You can overcome your riding fear off the horse. You’ll also learn how you can ride confidently regardless if your horse is playing up, being naughty, or trying to throw you off. You’ll smile and laugh at the situation now. So click the link below to join us in the free class.